On Friday, Brian’s boat did another BSP (Brief stop for personnel). This is what they did to get Brian on the boat. This time, they took a lot of PCO (pre commissioned-captains), PXOs (pre commissioned-XOs), and the person who was the emergency role fill that Brian was replacing off the boat. They were on it for training-essentially Captain and XO school.
There really isn’t much different with these pictures than before… except that Brian is helping drive the boat this time! Thankfully he didn’t hit anything.
This time the turn around was much faster (must’ve been because Brian was helping ;-)), I had a long sleeve UPF shirt on, and sunscreen. So no lobster Sarah. Here’s a cool picture of it with another warship.
I’m really REALLY upset because I didn’t change out my lenses before leaving the house… so I didn’t have my wicked awesome zoom lens on.
While we were waiting we watched the jets do their thing and I was EVEN MORE UPSET I didn’t have my zoom lens (insert sobbing emoji).
No, I didn’t actually get to see Brian, they pulled in and out quickly, so this was an exercise in true dedication to supporting my husband. But it was fun nonetheless, and another distraction (kinda?)
PHSOSA (Pearl Harbor Submarine Officer Spouses Association) is a group of women who meet regularly to build friendships with other submarine related spouses. This was their kick off event, and we were to meet at the Banyan tree (This is THE banyan tree, apparently. (there are actually many banyan trees in Hawaii)). It’s on Ford Island where the USS Missouri and museums are. There is also base housing. You can see the enormity of the tree behind the cute welcome setup.
From the tree we walked to the admiral’s house. Apparently there is a lot of unique history that goes with the house. There was a farewell party at the house the night before the Pearl Harbor attack, and lots of people were still in their pajamas the next morning when the attack started. They used it as an early triage location on the day of the attack, and the rumor is it’s still haunted in the basement. They repurpose the basement into a haunted house in October.
Being the Admiral’s house, I am sure you can imagine it is the best of the best. It has this huge wrap around Lanai with a great view of the harbor. We had treats laid out for us, including Biscotti, mochi, lemon bars, and baklava. Funny enough, though, no coffee… but we did get starbucks gift cards.
Because of COVID, they were limiting numbers, and rotated us through this event in groups of about ten. They had tables set up in the “Garden” where we sat with our group while we ate and heard about some resources we have access to to help us be submarine spouses.
I took “group” pictures of the different sets of groups, and the idea is they’ll stitch them all together somehow… Why am I wearing my sunglasses??? Ugh!
They also had the dolphin store represented there. The submarine spirit animal is the Dolphin, and when a submariner gets qualified to do his job he gets pinned with dolphins. This store is located on base and hosts a ton of fun submarine related items.
All in all, I was a little underwhelmed by the event. I ended up sitting with a lot of post-serve CO (captain) wives who all seemed to know each other and had their own chatter and inside relations, they’ve all known each other for a while. It would’ve been nice to hang with a more relatable crowd. However, I did meet another subwife and had pictures of her husband’s boat coming in and out, so I was able to send them to her. I told her I wasn’t sure if she was as excited as I was to have those pictures but I’d definitely offer them anyway… and she said no I’m definitely still excited to have them! ALSO. Come to find out, her sister lives in STURBRIDGE, MA. Because obviously!! So I told her to tell her sister to say hi to my mom the next time she’s at Micknucks. Can’t get away, even in Hawaii.
I’m a little off-put by the group, if I’m being honest. Turns out their meetings are only during the week… I feel like that is very unwelcoming and unsupportive of spouses who have work (me, my friend, my other friend, my other friend…). I did have to pay dues to be apart of this group, so I’ll stick it out and attend what I can, but so far I’m preferring my KOSC crew on this side. I only happened to be able to attend this one because I’m in-between project work and watching training videos. …Which I definitely listened to on the car ride over and back…
We’ll see, trying to keep an open mind with everything.
Later that day, I went back over to that side of the island and brought my new CO’s wife dinner. I made BBQ chicken, and also brought a chicken pot pie for her to freeze, she’s juggling a two month old and two other kids while her husband is gone! It was a great chance to talk, she is one impressive woman. She graduated with her graduate degree in nursing and is becoming a nurse practitioner. She just had a baby two months ago, her third. Her husband is the captain of a submarine… and she’s planning on returning to work in January. She is in rare air as a captain’s wife that works. I enjoyed her company and her rambunctious, but well behaved all things considered, kids. I’m glad we were able to connect.
Trying to keep myself busy over here! I have heard from Brian 4-5 times via email, which is VERY surprising. It’s nice, but can be really emotional too. His emails are of a brevity I’m not used to in my communication with him. A lot of it is his limited time, and a lot of it is he’s limited on what he can say. We also haven’t really ever communicated via email, so it could just be the way he emails.
If you haven’t watched this SNL skit about love letters during war, you should.
I don’t have a picture to go with this, but I wanted to talk about it anyway. FRG (Family readiness group) meetings are a way to connect with other spouses on the boat. They are meant to inform you about how to prepare for having your sailor gone, and then while he’s gone offer camaraderie/information about their schedule. They are about once a month. We had one on Monday.
There were about 15 wives there and a gaggle of children. We talk about having playdates, doing fundraisers, and if there are any port calls we might be able to go see our Sailor at. I offered to do a fundraiser for them for Christmas mini photo sessions for after the boat comes back. We use those funds to host things like a welcome home BBQ or gifts for certain occasions (I think?).
It was a pot luck, but I wasn’t really interested in a lot of the food. There was a buffalo chicken dip and the chicken was indistinguishable… I know that a lot of people use a blender to “shred” chicken and I think that’s the method they went with. It’s a weird consistency thing that I can’t handle.
There was childcare offered, but honestly the kids were mostly in and out of the room they were hanging out in that I didn’t find it was super worth it. I am very thankful Brian and I don’t have kids yet.
Nothing terribly exciting, but it’s something about boat life many people don’t know about so there you have it.
You could see the other Hawaiian islands really well to the right of the second Mokulua island
I had to run some errands today out in town (actually I really wanted to check out a store, my only errand was to pick up an onion for a salad). The store is called twin islands, and if you don’t know why you haven’t been paying attention.
It’s mostly clothing with a few knick knacky type things. I bought another rash guard shirt (something to protect me from the sun) and a bumper sticker that is the symbol you see at the top of the store entrance. Everyone who is anyone has one.
Then I treated myself to Kono’s. Atmosphere was pretty cool.
But… I bought the basic BBQ pork plate (Kailua pork, BBQ sauce, white rice, mixed lettuce greens with fruit dressing) and thought it was just ok. I keep picking “local favorite” plates and should probably try meals that I actually know I’ll like. Just trying to be open to new possibilities! I’d go back and try something different and ask if they sell the dressing. Not super impressed. My friend warned me it’s hard to be super impressed by food here and I’m wondering if she’s right. The drink was guava limeade. It wasn’t mixed well, so at first I was like “Where’s the limeade?” and then about halfway through I was like “where’s the guava?”
After eating, I went back out again to buy some gifts at a local kids store. One is for someone’s kid on the boat who turned 5 today and is coming to our family readiness group meeting tonight. And a couple others are for the Captain’s wife’s kids (2 months, 4 and 5). She just had a baby, two months prior to her husband leaving, so she has her hands full. I bought a floor puzzle and a book of games. Hopefully it’ll help keep them busy!
I’m off to my first ever in-person FRG meeting. Going to meet all the wardroom wives. Wish me luck!
Brian left yesterday. I can’t tell you exactly when he’s leaving, or exactly when he’s coming back, or really anything. It’s a part of OPSEC, “operational security”. The motto in the Navy is “loose lips sink ships”. I can post pictures once they are ~24 hours out of port. I’m pretty sure we’re fooling ourselves thinking that there aren’t satellites watching our every move, but I’m not the one to get her husband in trouble.
So what next? Well, I do have information about when I could possibly see him again before he gets back to Hawaii at the end for what’s called a “port call” at a different location (sounds sexy, but the logistical planning can be a nightmare). Otherwise, I send emails to this email address that he supposedly will some day be able to receive emails at. And just hope, wait, and pray that I get an email back one day.
Meanwhile, look at how AWESOME that zoom lens is! This is a cropped in picture of the sail. The guy leaning on the stacks is Brian’s captain. I am not sure who anyone else is.
I also waited for the boat to leave for… THREE HOURS. Another spouse and I went to Missing Man monument. Turns out this is one of Brian’s Nav Aids, so he knew where to look. I turned into a lobster. First time since being here, so I am a bit impressed it took me this long. Lesson learned!
Today I kept myself very busy. I did my sunrise walk. Went to mass. Went snorkeling at Secret Beach with my friend (Secret beach was a let down, again. I think Brian is my lucky charm). Came home, answered TED emails. Lifted weights, then did a trash pick up. I picked up TWO dirty diapers. One was handed to me en route… I figured if the alternative was it would end up in the bush, I should just take it, so I did. It was SO HEAVY by the time I got to the top of my little hill. Yup, that’s a practically full bag of trash. Woof.
I showered immediately after getting home. Fixed myself dinner… adult chicken nuggets with a side of hummus and hot sauce with carrots. Wrote Brian an email he may not get until he gets home. And now I’m here, summing up my day for you guys, too!
It’s really great when I have days like this, with all the energy to do things. I definitely still have recovery days (few and far between now!) where I can just about muster brushing my teeth. I sometimes wonder if this was how I was pre-COVID, just having a bit of a low energy day once in a while, but these just feel different. I did start back on my inhaler. I pushed it too hard on a peloton ride(s) (I did two back to back, a total of 1 hr 15 minutes) and my lung burning was very persistent afterward. I actually took my oxygen level reading for the first time in forever. I’ve done this before, over done it (surprise surprise), but usually it would rectify in a couple days. After a week of it being persistent, I asked my pulmonologist what she thought about me going back on the Albuterol and she said go for it. I’m feeling a ton better just after a few days on it.
Here are a couple more badass submarine pics. (I took about 100. I was a bit excited)
This song was made for Navy wives. Except, I do truly know he’d rather be home with me.
Dad called to check up on me today, thanks dad <3 Day 2, done.
I’ve been meaning to try this place for a while, but their hours are odd and Brian says it’s not a dinner place. I finally treated myself for lunch to get me out of the apartment for a bit.
They make bowls with soft serve fruit. I chose to get the “Locals Only” in a bowl. I should’ve changed to Acai flavor because banana can overwhelm me… next time.
It was really quiet and the service was quick. Overall I thought the bowl was good, not great, but I’d go back. It wasn’t overly sweet even with the honey. The mac nut honey butter, however, was DELICIOUS and I will go back to buy a jar.
I think it a nice treat, good but not great. Could’ve been my mistake in flavor choice. I’ll definitely also bring my own bowl next time. Love that restaurants are doing this.
(This is post published, written end of last week)
It’s been a week to say the least. I feel like it can be really easy to look at the situation I’m in- living in Hawaii on military orders- and be really jealous. And to be honest, I probably would be too. But I was warned, and will not sugarcoat the fact, that military life is hard.
Brian found out that he is changing boat assignments due to a staffing issue. The good news is, the boat’s homeport is Hawaii and staying that way for the indefinite future and this is incredibly good for Brian’s career. The bad news is, he joins the boat on deployment sometime in the next month (I have to stay vague, because, you know, the Russians are listening).
There is a whole lot of backstory that I can’t share here, but essentially it’s a really good thing for Brian’s career and for a lot of other things. But it also means that I am without Brian, my husband and best friend, for the next 2-5mths (again, can’t give specifics). Before it was official, Brian’s bosses asked his opinion on it, and Brian said that he’d agree but would have to consult with me because we’re a team and I’d be the one that needs to be convinced. If any of you are single reading this, THAT is a quality in a husband you should have on your list. Brian’s bosses offered to meet with me and that meeting happened and, as much as him being gone will suck, I am a lot more ok with the move.
Brian’s bosses keep reminding me that deployment was going to have to happen at some point, and that’s fair. I am also truly in a best of the best situation where his bosses will even talk to me about this and ease my concerns. But if I told you your husband was going to be gone tomorrow for months vice a year from now for months, how would you feel? I, for one, feel wholly unprepared.
There’s a lot that was supposed to happen before he deploys; I get to meet the boat spouses, attend Family Readiness Group meetings, fill out a bunch of paperwork, he’d finish hanging pictures… As with the year that was “supposed to be” and all the “supposed to happens” of 2020, we’ll just stack these on top.
The biggest challenge for me for his deployment will be to try to find friends and more company. I keep dipping my toe into events with spouses at the Marine Corps Base, but I need to work on developing relationships. That and I need to figure out how to kill cockroaches (we’ve only had one so far! But that’s not a roommate I would hope to gain)
Send good thoughts and prayers my way. And if there was ever a time you wanted to visit Hawaii and not see Brian… this might be a good one!
Here’s a second picture from the same sunrise for good measure. Unsure if I’ll still wake up so early with Brian gone.
Here’s me playing with some leading lines again. I still feel like for some reason I’m missing the “wow” factor. Maybe I’m just being too hard on myself. Anyway, I want to introduce you to the crew that I call the “puppy parade”
Apparently they more commonly found hiking the pillbox in the morning and she started an instagram called PillBoxPups. You can imagine what they’re all waiting for in this picture…
They’re such a fun crew and tag along behind their owner. Some of my furry sunrise friends!
Military spouse groups all seem to have book clubs, and KOSC is no exception! The first book was Moloka’i by Alan Brennert. Off of a tip from a fellow spouse, I chose to listen to the audio book because the narrator was native Hawaiian and pronounced a lot of Hawaiian words over the course of the story.
It’s historical fiction and starts around 1890 I believe. It’s a story about a young girl who gets leprosy and her life on the island of Moloka’i suffering the consequences of exile and the disease. I tried to listen on my lunch breaks often, but there are definitely moments I couldn’t stomach eating and listening at the same time; so be forewarned there are some rather gruesome and grotesque bits. I do highly recommend reading it, though!
The military wives were very nice and we talked about a whole ton of things after we talked about the book itself. I sometimes find the chatter can trend too negative for my preference, once we were lost in a spiral of talking about disastrous move stories (someone’s crates got water logged and they essentially lost everything… you can use your imagination to guess about other stories). I remind myself it is reality for some and it doesn’t have to be my reality; in fact our moves have gone surprisingly well all things considered. It’s easy to say “it’s just things” when it hasn’t happened to me, but there’s some truth. Brian and I purposefully don’t have a lot of sentimental value things and have 10 year old furniture aside from a few pieces. Anyway, tangent over, book club was a great time to meet new people. Three(!!) of us were from MA!! The others were from all over. The host is part of a kickball league with some crazy rules and I anticipate going to watch sometime.
Last night we invited a couple friends over for BYOBC (bring your own beach chair) and BYOB. Brian has wanted to sit at the beach at night relaxing and chatting for a bit, so we finally decided to do it. Here’s my hand at taking some low light photos. I kicked myself for not bringing my tripod, so these are all hand held with slow shutter speed using any apparatus to steady the camera. The first is the sun setting, looking toward the Marine Corps Base.
This is of some fishermen (and fisherwoman?) setting up lines with the dark outline of one of the Mokes in the background.
Then, I tried to capture stars and palm trees. A tripod would’ve done a world of good, but it’s a start.
The streak to the left is a plane.
The meteor shower is supposed to be strong the next few days and I might try to go out, but we’ll see.
