When I got to the end of the beach today and observed the shoreline I noticed patches of gray that were distinctly not clouds. They looked like they could be other islands in the distance… weirdly I haven’t ever noticed them before. I mustered up the confidence to chat with one of the regulars I see, and they were kind enough to point out what I was looking at.
Apparently on clear days you can see to other islands! Maybe I’ve always assumed they were clouds.
I distinctly remember visiting Catalina island and my sister-in-law saying “This is going to be you guys soon, living on an island!” and a quick wave of panic flooded through me as I realized the implications of that statement. However, at the time we were on a tiny island that took twenty minutes to drive to the other side. There were more golf carts than cars. Oahu is certainly a lot bigger and more populous. That being said, sometimes, like when I can see ocean for days and distant small islands, I come to the very clear realization that I am on a tiny plot of land in the middle of a giant ocean and get kinda claustrophobic (that’s the best way I can think to describe it, maybe there’s another word? Like I’m stuck in a small area in the middle of nowhere?). But then I ground myself and bring my thoughts to what my tiny little bubble actually is and that it isn’t entirely different from my old tiny bubble. Gym, work, church, grocery store, husband, friends, even the beach. Some moments it feels really far from things, but most of the time it’s not much different than anywhere else I’ve lived. I don’t think the feeling will ever go away; I more assume it’ll become normal and fleeting.
Brian is working late again tonight, so I’m on my own for dinner. Ice cream?
